I’m sure I don’t really have to say this… but my daughter is 100% worth every NST, every sleepless night, and all the crazy worrying we did at the end of my pregnancy with her. She is worth the extra 12 pounds I’m still wearing. She is worth the less-than-stellar birth experience (11 days overdue, sunny side up, pitocin/induction, etc) At 6:33PM on January 18th, she breathed her first breath and all of that disappeared… and we have been so in love with her ever since.
AAAAAAHHHHHH! I can’t believe we’re here, but today I am 41 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I wanted to hold out and wait for the baby to “come when she wants to come” but my doctor feels more comfortable if we don’t get to 42 weeks. This is fine with me, even though I am scared of the induction, because every day past my due date has seemed more like a month. I love being pregnant and all… but this is absurd. The best news is that baby Evie seems perfectly ready (physically). The doctors at my OB have been very thorough and I have done everything they’ve asked. For about a month now, we have been passing all of our NSTs (every 3 days) and an ultrasound 4 days ago estimated her weight at a whopping 8 pounds… and the original weight they got was 8lb 12oz. WOW! I want to thank everyone who prayed for our baby to grow… and kindly request that those prayers end immediately.
** WARNING – Stop reading here if it’s going to creep you out when I start talking about my cervix **
So here goes nothing… the induction ::cue the dramatic music:: begins early Wednesday morning. Dr. A says that he will probably want us to check in the night before to that they can “prep” my cervix with cervadil overnight. After they start the pitocin on Wednesday morning, our fate is anyone’s guess. I have no elaborate birth plan… no detailed itinerary or intricate map of events to follow. I plan on going with the flow and delivering (somehow) a healthy little girl.
I’m definitely scared. I mean, I’m scared about the induction – I’ve never been induced and I’ve read the horror stories (thanks, Google). I’m also scared that things won’t go well and I will need a c-section. I’m scared that Evelyn won’t tolerate labor well – she does seem awfully content to stay in there forever. I’m even scared about being away from Isaac while we’re in the hospital. Bigger than my fears, however, is the reassurance that God’s got us covered.
He knows the plan… so maybe I don’t have to.
Alright, let’s cut the crap: today I’m in the bad place. I’m so done with this pregnancy… so. done. I can’t stand to hear one more person try to pep talk me with their “I’ve been there” talk. HOWEVER, I do know that I need to keep some perspective… so I scrolled back to a few of my early 2009 entries and here’s the best I can think of:
2008 Emma would happily punch 2012 Emma in the face today. In 2008, I would have KILLED to be pregnant… even at 40+ weeks. I would have been completely psyched to experience 24 hours of false labor, on no sleep, while fielding the most obnoxious comments imaginable from well-meaning friends (and strangers). 2008 Emma would have loved to spend even one second awkwardly waddling around with a baby in her belly. 2008 Emma (although she was much better looking) would have traded those cute little mini skirts for oompa loompa pregnancy panel pants in a heartbeat. She would shake her head in disgust at 2012 Emma for feeling the way I do today.
And THAT is all the perspective I need. My daughter is worth the wait.
I’m not really into the bare belly pictures, but this one was just too ridiculous to not share. I mean, really… my poor skin. Today is Evie’s due date… you know, the day that’s been stuck in my mind since April 28th, when we found out we were expecting. Honestly, I never thought we’d see her due date without a baby in our arms… I really didn’t. And then we hit 38 weeks… 39 weeks… and now 40, with no sign that she’s coming. It’s so depressing.
Now that we know she’s big enough, all I want is my daughter here. The laundry is done. The bags are packed. The plans are set. All we’re doing is waiting. And to be honest, it is driving me insane. I have been through many stages of dealing with this waiting game:
1. Passive – because “It will happen when the baby is good and ready.”
2. Proactive – because “a little plan of action never hurt anyone.” We have tried walking for miles, spicy foods, pineapple, evening primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea, bouncing on an exercise ball, bumpy roads, ::whisper:: “you-know-what”, and more. I even ate 2-3 slices of a jalapeno pepper, but all that gave me was a runny nose and some heartburn.
3. Self Pity – because “I have earned a happy ending to this pregnancy” When the doctor told me that there had been no change since last week, I cried and cried like an idiot (for over an hour). “Maybe she’s never coming.”
4. Stubborn Defiance – because she gets her ‘tude from me – “Fine, I’m not leaving this couch until my active labor contractions start… and I have 65 bars of chocolate a DVR full of Lifetime movies to see me through it.”… OR MAYBE I will start unpacking the hospital bags tonight, in an effort to show my stubborn little girl that “Mommy can play this game too.” — I will let you know how THAT works out.
5. Passive Again – Well, this stage is not here yet, but it’s coming. I am not an unreasonable person and I am fully aware that I need to get off the couch soon and that babies come when they come.
The truth is… we are very close and I know it. I am dilated and effaced some. I get some really strong contractions each day… and they get stronger… and closer together… and then they go away. I know that my body knows what to do and I know we’ll get there. Hopefully before Dr. Alvarez calls for an induction. He says that he won’t let me get to my 42nd week, so I have until next Saturday to make this happen on my own. If not, we serve little Evie with her eviction papers “ready or not.”
Okay, back to my chocolate couch of consolation.
Let’s go ahead and get this posted before it’s too late… here’s my 39 week super belly:
We are at 39 weeks and
impatiently waiting. I’ve been getting some pretty gnarly contractions for about a week now, sometimes in a pattern, sometimes not. When people ask me when she’s coming, I say, “I have absolutely no idea.” I really want to go into labor on my own, even if that means an extra week of being huge and uncomfortable. We will see what the doctor has to say about that this week.
As our due date nears (next Saturday), I am channeling my mommy angst into making sure that the house is ready for this baby. Being on Christmas break sure helped. I had plenty of time for laundry, carpet cleaning, bathrooms, windows, etc. I also got a lot of quality time with my little boy, who has absolutely no idea what’s coming. Anyway, the house is looking great, the bags are packed, and I am trying not to think that everything that happens to me is a sign of labor. You just don’t know these things until you KNOW, you know??! With Isaac, I had almost NO signs and then just woke up in full blown labor one morning. Four days before his due date. Just saying…
Can you hear me, Evie?! Your brother was four days early!
Great. Now I’m THAT mom.
We had GREAT appointments! Here’s the update:
9:20 – OB Appt. Good BP, etc. I am 1-2cm dilated and 50% effaced. Baby’s head was “pretty high” – but the doctor said that the station isn’t really a good predictor for moms who have already had kiddos. So really, it’s anyone’s guess as to when she’ll come.
11:00 – NST. There are two mommy recliners in the NST room and Evelyn loves a good competition… so we FLEW through that test, passing with flying colors. I had two measurable contractions which registered on the test. The nurse asked if I felt them…. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Ummm, yes.
12:00 – Sonogram. Evie made good progress from 12/9 to today, growing from 5 pounds to 6.5. I never thought I could be excited to hear that my full term baby is in the 15th percentile. 6.5 pound babies go home with their mommies and daddies… so my prayers have been answered.
And now we wait… and when Evelyn is ready to meet us, we’re ready.
I have three doctor’s appointments this morning: a 9:20 OB appointment, 11:00 NST, and the big 12:00 sonogram. I am so anxious to see if baby Evelyn has grown enough over the past 18 days. My belly is certainly bigger… so maybe that’s a good indicator? Isaac keeps telling me to “scoot over” during snuggle time because my belly’s constantly in his way.
Regardless, I’m not completely sure we’ll be making it to our January 7th (which is next Saturday, OMGSH) due date. Isaac was born 4 days before his… and I am being tormented night and day with irregular contractions, some of them strong. I can’t quite get myself to wish for her to come, though, until I know she’s big enough to thrive once she’s here.
::insert pause for another contraction::
Maybe I should pack the hospital bag, just in case. I’ll post an update after my appointments.